[Adventures] The Cabinet

 I got the most interesting client this week. Certainly the most interesting for my whole career. Before I even attended the first lesson I had to sign a Non Disclosure Agreement, I remember it had a 10 year clause, for the generics, but a lifetime on specifics. So in interest of that NDA, I'll be light on some details.

I had to attend a meeting with an official at the Russian DUMA to get signed off. I approached this imposing building. All squares in shape for my recollection. big columns outside. I approached the front 'desk' which was a cabinet of soldiers? wood. slots for papers & passports. They wanted mine, but I was in a quandry.

Australians are instructed not to let out passports out of our hands. Its our only 'link' to the outside world. If we lose it, or its stolen, we are stuck in the country for months, and if your visa expires in that time, you are doubly stuck that you MUST leave, its  a catch 22 you do NOT want to get stuck in. I have once, and I never want to again.

So when asked to hand over my passport, I could not, without it, they could not let me enter. catch 22 again.

Russians all have this 'internal passport' like a licence really, you hand it over, show it off. its a pain in the ass to get a replacement, so its LIKE a passport, but at the same time, not such a hassle, so people hand them over to these goons at the desk, and they get a 'pass' to go in.

I ring my student contact. I can't get in. they ring back, wait there. For a small time I'm staring at the ceiling, the stairs, watching officials come and go, its fascinating. Eventually a small demure girl of 20 comes to talk to the goons,. long story short I left them with a photocopy of my passport.

I go up the stairs in some side wall, then through some corridors to another building, whose floor is not aligned with the first, so the doors are all skewed by a few feet, and some steps. 

Then I walk down this beige + orange corridor, passing wooden doors. its strange, like in those 70s movies, but this is real life. 

We come to a door. she has one of those old lock&key style keys, a slot in the door, the turn of this 3 inch metal rod, and the door puckers, as the leather 'seal' inside gives way. We enter this tiny little office. a desk, a laptop, a cupboard, a chair. none of it quite fits. its not meant to be a secretary room, or wait room, its only meant to be a cupboard for your coats. I'm sitting on a chair, INSIDE a cupboard, with a secretary, and her desk and chair, and laptop. inside a cupboard for coats. insane.

Soon enough, the door to the next room opens, and my student stands there, motions me in. I'm a little in shock, I was not told the position of this man, but I recognize him. I know who he is. BUT I'm a good teacher, it doesn't matter. I teach movie stars and ministers of finance, I can teach anyone, and ignore their position in life. I'm there to teach English.

He knows enough English, we discuss his needs, his level his practice. He's heard of me from some of the cabinet, and I'm unknown enough to be anyone. I signed an NDA remember. its all good.

For the next 6 months, I entered that chamber and spoke to him about a wide range of topics, and at one point, he advised me that it'd be in my best interests to return to Australia. that was 2011. I know now what he meant.

I'll go into more detail in my book, but I wanted to start writing some small parts out as marketing. get some interest and then publish.

I did alot of strange and interesting things in Russia. many of them far stranger than the above, 100x stranger. living in sheds in the snow, to 'test' my resolve. Digging ice tunnels. drinking Vodka with a man about to kill me. watching Explosions in Chechniya, and being told by my govt I needed to leave, after 80+ foreigners were bombed in a theatre. OH and I got to see paul McCartney Live in moscow. 

I did alot. and I think its time to write it all down, before I forget and so my kids can read it when they're old enough.